Some things are just not done in Polite Society!

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∼ One cannot simply enter a Traditional Viennese Kaffeehaus in causal common order and request a cup of coffee or a latte for,  “coffee”  and  “latte”  simply do not exist!  Also, there will be no  “barista”  to fulfil your request.  “Barista”  is an Italian term for bartender,  which for obvious reasons does not apply in a Traditional Viennese Kaffeehaus.

Upon entering a Viennese Kaffeehaus,  hopefully,  one will feel compelled to exhibit the demeanour & composure that is demanded upon entrance of such an elegant establishment.

Manners maketh the visit merry!

The Viennese speak of a Kaffeehaus as having a living soul, often resisting even the slightest change to the 300-year-old institution.  In Wien,  the Kaffeehaus is a cultural enclave unmolested by the progressive trappings of time,  whilst also remaining stern & determined in its admonishment of low culture.

There are literally hundreds of modern casual  “coffeeshops”  in Vienna.  One must not confuse a  “coffeeshop”  with a Traditional Kaffeehaus,  for these are entirely different institutions,  severely far removed from each other in every aspect imaginable!

Once again, there is no such thing as a  “barista”  or  “coffee”  or  “latte”  in a Viennese Kaffeehaus!  That′s right: there are literally dozens of Kaffee variations available in any respectable Traditional Kaffeehaus,  and ordering simply  “coffee”  or  “latte”  might press Herr Ober or Host to mock,  deride or challenge you in contemptuous disgust.

If one wishes to distinguish themselves accordingly in a Viennese Kaffeehaus and remain verbally unaccosted,  one must be prepared to order something Specific,  Directly off the Menu,  Exactly as it’s Written,  Traditional, and obviously only Viennese.  One must remember to follow the strict rules,  and conduct oneself in proper polite fashion,   thus appreciating the gravity of one’s would-be offence.

*In a much more Romantic Civilized Era, such dismissive-ments and affrontive mis-orderings could perhaps find oneself challenged and engaged in a dastardly deadly duel!*

Oh Dear!